Final Words for Grandma Theone

Earlier this week I had the honor of saying some words at my Grandma Theone's funeral. She was a wonderful, amazing woman with a great deal of sass. One of her last wishes was to have her family connect more. We have all had a difficult week together - but it has been very fun at moments. I'm not really a technology guy - but I think I can figure out how to use a blog - especially if its a tool to remember my grandma and connect with my family. So here goes...my first post.

Love, Hans

On behalf of my family, especially Effie, Don and Tonya I would like to thank you for joining us today to celebrate the life of THE ONE!

I also stand before you today as the representative of three of the most fortunate people in this room. Lara, Steffen and myself, who had the pleasure of knowing Theone at her best, and had the privilege of calling her Grandma.

Today marks the end of a long journey on this earth and the beginning of another for my grandma.

I know she would want me to take a moment to pause and say thank you for a few important people. To my dad and Effie for many fun memories over the years and the especially over the past month.

And a special thank you to Tonya and Bob for all the love and devotion you showed to her until her final breaths. In the end she was not in pain, not alone, and not afraid, because of the care and love given to her by Tonya and Bob. I know Grandma was grateful for your love and the rest of the family are forever in your debt for the compassion you showed her.

Long before I knew her, Theone lived a life defined by struggle and hardship. At a young age she lost her mother, and at various points her father would head to Alaska for work.

During these years Theone and her older sister Ramona were left to care for Gordon, Roger, Bill and Sharon…. As if that wasn’t hard enough my grandma was quick to tell folks that they lived in a converted chicken coop during this time.

Most of us here today cannot comprehend the adversity you all faced but we can comprehend the love and caring that you have all demonstrated for each other over the years.

Gordon, Roger, Bill and Sharon, your loss on this day is profound.

Six….was five….is now four, and our sympathies and love are with you during this difficult time.

At the end of her childhood, years past, and Theone met and married her husband Don – moved to International Falls and began a family.

With Effie and Don family life was defined by being a mother at a young age and struggling to make ends meet.

As the years past and Effie and Don grew up Theone developed a robust set of hobbies and friends and became quite the social creature, just in time to for a surprise her second daughter Tonya to arrive.

Her life in International Falls was defined by curling, bowling, her children, and being a cook at the local high school.

I may be biased but I believe my grandma’s best years were the last 30 of her life.

It was during this time when preconceived notions of what was right and required were cast away in favor of what was needed and fun.

It was during this time that Theone connected in new ways with many of us in this room and developed a unique ability to walk into a room and sense who needed to feel included and loved.

Sometimes this inclusion came in the form of a deadpan line delivered to a niece or nephew seated across the room. David, Ryan, Jimmy, Jeffery….. “While your up, get me a glass of water.”

Other times it came in the form of an invitation to come spend a week at the cabin with the reminder. “Don’t you dare walk up the steps empty handed”

And in my case it was an open door, and heart, every summer for several years.

It was during these summers that she taught me essential qualities any young person should have; how to line dance, respect and learn from your family,
help loved ones, attend funerals, drive a boat, love, laugh and play cards.

In my later years, these lessons also included how to enjoy grain belt, and buy Virginia slim ultra light 120’s. Just imagine the looks I got from the clerk.

My experience and connection with Grandma was really only unique because of the amount of time we spent together….

I suspect most people who knew her in these years also learned these lessons, and connected in similar ways.

I believe the greatest testament to my grandmother is the fact that in the last 30 years of her life these lessons were taught universally.

Kids, cousins, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, neighbors, card playing friends, re-hab buddies, from all walks of life and corners of the country.

After her death, Lara and I both received messages of condolence, several people commented on how sweet grandmas were.

We politely agreed, but also thought to ourselves… that’s not the first word that would come to mind.

Salty, yes. Brash, yes. And yes, certainly sweet.

Earlier this year I had the sad pleasure of attending a memorial service for Theone’s brother in law Ted Wilson in Seattle. After the service, Jim and Sharron introduced me as Theone’s grandson. I left that day thinking I will receive no greater honor in my life.

I suspect there are many here today who feel honored to be known as a member of Theone’s group of friends, church, or family.

We all have stories that will make us laugh when we are sad, but as Theone used to tell me after she lost her husband. It never gets easier… it just gets different.

In the end though, I do believe my grandma found a way to make it easier, by channeling the love and positive memories into other aspects of our lives. By doing this we can help replicate that which the person we have lost had given us.

As we mourn the loss of THE ONE. Let us remember her love, laughter and spunk…. And let us pray.
Walk with us this day O Lord and strengthen us to live our faith in bold and in quiet ways.

Help us listen attentively and speak with thoughtful care.
Make us quick to love and slow to anger,
Quick to share and slow to hoard.
Open our hearts that we may extend a genuine welcome to all we meet each day looking for your presence in each face around us.
Amen.

Thank you Grandma. The honor was mine.